In his most recent sermon series, Pastor John charged the congregation with the goal of cultivating a deep knowledge and understanding of God in our own children. He went on to say that doing so brings peace not only in our hearts, but in our homes and in our relationships with others.
As career educators, we have frequently counseled parents to look at the big picture by helping them set long term goals for their children. First, define the goal. Then, work on the smaller steps toward that goal. In time, as new parents, we were tasked with doing the same for our own children. When we started a family, our spiritual goal for our children was obvious: We wanted to raise our children to commit themselves to Christ and serve Him alone all the days of their lives.
Less obvious, however, was the process. Now on the other side of parenting children in our home, we have learned a great deal from the Word and from other godly mentors in our lives. Where does a new parent begin the task of cultivating a knowledge of God? How can we raise our children to be committed Christians? What can we do on Monday that reflects what we learn on Sunday?
Work on yourself first! (I Corinthians 11:1)
To be effective Christian parents, you must first cultivate God’s word in your own heart. This benefits your walk with Christ directly but also your children will begin to see His reflection in you. We found making our own spiritual growth a priority is one of the most impactful ways we could affect our children’s spiritual journey. Once we reflect God and his priorities, we begin to see others the way He does, including our children.
Let children see us seeking God. (Proverb 3:5-6)
When appropriate, vocalize the decision making process with your children so they can see how to use the Bible as the authority in our day-to-day. It is important for our children to obey us as parents, but they also need to hear more than “because I said so.” Help them understand why their obedience matters. Let them know we are using biblical principles when spending money. Let them see us seeking the Lord’s guidance when choosing what movie to watch. Let them witness us praying for God’s counsel in determining how He wants us to spend our time.
Use the Bible in our everyday life. (2 Timothy 3:16)
Learning about God and his word in structured settings such as church and designated family devotions is crucial in your child’s spiritual development. However, we found that teaching our children about God in unstructured times was just as important since that is mostly where we live. How does that happen in the midst of busy days?
Be consistent and intentional—they must hear the Bible all week long as a natural occurrence, not just on Sundays. This may include listening to the Bible in the car or helping them to memorize scripture they can practice all week. Sing songs together that teach biblical truths.
Be creative—think of hands-on ways to teach Bible stories by capitalizing on their areas of interest. Perhaps, you can incorporate art, music or science experiments to illustrate a biblical truth. As they get older, guide them through the process of applying biblical principles to situations they are in or may have observed at school, with friends, or even on tv.
Implement memorable traditions with a spiritual emphasis for your family. In our family, we had summer devotions around a selected theme and scripture. This culminated with an end-of-summer hike with a final devotion and a prayer for our upcoming school year. Our boys still talk about this time as a positive memory even into their teen years.
Be conversational—in the car, at dinner, before bed, talking about the day. Ask spiritual questions. Cultivate this while they are young so it is natural when they are teenagers and face bigger problems.
Most of all, redeem the time with your children, as it is very short and fleeting.
Pray intentionally. (1 Thessalonians 5:17)
Ask God to reveal His will for your children so you may foster it. Pick out scriptures that address spiritual needs or character flaws you see in your kids, not in a punitive means but as instruction in righteousness. For example, in certain seasons, you may point them to verses about humility. In other seasons, maybe covetousness. In others still, scriptures about the goodness of God. Memorizing these scriptures WITH your children will be a double blessing!
Make church attendance a priority. (Hebrews 10:25)
In talking with our adult sons about things that impacted their decisions to follow Christ, our son John remarked that going to church consistently was a big factor. In our house, the norm was that we went to church. While being non-negotiable, it was also a joy! As a youth pastor now, John believes that this is still an impactful expectation parents should have for their children. Have discussions with your children about why we go to church—for our own growth but also because the Bible exhorts us to encourage and build up one another. Even when we do not feel like going, someone needs us at church! Consistency in these important things speaks volumes to children.
Surround your family with godly examples. (Proverbs 27:17)
Our son Edward credits godly men who spent time with him and his brother as an important factor in his decision to walk with Christ. This was not an accident on our part! Many times, we purposely surrounded our sons with godly men of all ages, as we wanted other Christians in their lives to form relationships with and emulate. While parents are the most influential people in a child’s life, godly mentors leave an indelible mark.
If these strategies seem daunting, you can find SO many biblically based resources and godly people around to help. Ask for help.
These are some of the things we did to aim our children towards God and His kingdom. We may not have always hit the mark with our arrows, but we were always shooting at the right target. Stay “on your knees” in prayer and trust God for His immeasurable grace. Know that He will guide you and redeem your weaknesses for His strength.
Kevin and Martha Spencer are the imperfect parents of two imperfect sons. Both our boys are now twenty something and married to our beautiful daughters in law, who also gave insights for this article. We thank the Lord for His grace in saving them and enabling them to be the Christian sons, men and husbands they are today.
-Kevin and Martha Spencer
Comments